In this edition of Ink & Time, we’re pleased to welcome the godfather of modern satire.
Most of us know Mark Twain as a great American writer and humorist. In school we read stories like “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,” and "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.”
What we weren’t taught in school? His anti-imperialist writings, despite being arguably his most important legacy.
In his later years, he was obsessed with the role of the United States in international affairs. He became Vice President of the American Anti-Imperialist League until his death in 1910.
125 years ago Mark Twain lit the literate world on fire with his piece, “To the Person Sitting in Darkness.” It was his anti-imperialist manifesto, satirical to its core, but deadly serious.
He asked if the business of imperialism should continue into the 20th century. Now in the 21st, few if any writers of similar prominence are asking similar questions.
On this basis, we invited him to write a guest post (aided by Grok) commenting on the situation in Gaza, as of August, 2025.
We hope you enjoy his piece. Do also read his original, hard-hitting essay, which provides a perspective on the events in China and the Philippines of 1900.
Now, without further ado… Mark Twain on Gaza:
“Ah, gentle reader of Ink & Time, it's me, Sam Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, risen from the grave like a bad penny that won't stay buried. How the ghosts of yesteryear's follies dance a jig in today's carnage!
In my 1901 scribble, "To the Person Sitting in Darkness," I lampooned those pious missionaries in China, fresh from the Boxer dust-up, who weren't content with merely spreading the Gospel. Lord, how they squeezed the peasants for indemnities thirteen-fold, turning bereavement into bankruptcy.
We Americans, fresh off our Spanish-American War spree, were busy exporting liberty at gunpoint, looting the islands with Bibles in hand. I called it the "Blessings-of-Civilization Trust" a grand swindle where we swapped their freedom for our greed, all wrapped in pious twaddle about light and progress.
"Taels I win, heads you lose," I quipped, as the Reverend Mr. Ament and his flock collected blood money from the Boxers’ kin, all while preaching brotherly love. Indemnities alight! The powers, America included, demanded $335 million from China’s poorest for "damages," a sum so bloated it could've gilded the moon. Civilization's bill, paid in paupers' tears!
Well, dust off your spectacles, for it’s 2025, and the Trust is back in business. Did it ever really fold? This time it’s an infernal spectacle in Gaza.
The game's not been halted. It's amplified with smart bombs and stock tickers. I blush to recall that, in 1901, I accused Christendom of running the game badly; today's dealers have right perfected it.
The script’s been flipped a bit: Uncle Sam still bankrolls the operation, but Israel's at the helm, bombing the "darkness" out of two million Palestinians crammed into a strip no bigger than a handkerchief.
Hamas' shocking attack was a grim outrage that demanded response: 1,200 Israelis lost, hostages taken. But Israel's reply? A full siege, as the Defense Minister crowed: "No electricity, no food, no water, no fuel."
Sound familiar? It's straight from the imperial playbook I mocked: starve 'em into submission, then call it self-defense. By mid-2025, Gaza's officials report over 56,000 souls gone, including 17,000 children and 9,000 women.
The UN's Independent Commission? They say Israel's wrecked the "reproductive capacity" of Palestinians: maternity wards targeted, births foreclosed. Human Rights Watch chimes in: "Extermination," "genocide." Even the International Court of Justice orders Israel to knock it off, but they might as well be hollerin’ at the moon.
And who's footing the bill? Why, the good ol' U.S. of A. It’s echoes of Boxer indemnities: extract resources while the victims foot the famine. Uncle Sam, that eternal imperial chaperone, shipping billions in arms, and vetoing ceasefires at the UN like a drunk vetoing sobriety.
Those dollars boomerang right back to companies like Raytheon and Lockheed, whose stocks climbed sky-high (83% gains for some!) War's a boon for the boardroom, it seems. We preach human rights, then sell the bombs that shred 'em. International law? A fig leaf for the naked emperor.
Profits from pulverization! While 93% of Gazans scrape one meal daily, shareholders feast. It's the old racket: "Blessings of Civilization Trust," now LLC, with dividends in death.
Satire? Hell, it's tragedy replayed as farce. In my day, we justified Filipino massacres with talk of "benevolent assimilation." Now, it's "mowing the lawn,” Israeli slang for periodic bombings to keep the "weeds" down. They evacuate a million souls south, then bomb the south too. "Safe zones"? More like shooting galleries.
Far-right ministers babble of a "second Nakba," shipping the Persons in Darkness to Sinai like unwanted freight. Did they dispense with light altogether? Leaked docs plot buffer zones, permanent exile. And that Gaza Marine gas field? A trillion cubic feet offshore, ripe for plucking once the natives are cleared out. Civilization's blessings: gas for the victors, graves for the vanquished.
The ICC wants Netanyahu for war crimes, starvation, extermination, but he'll dodge it like I dodged creditors. Meanwhile, the Trust thrives: SIPRI tallies $632 billion global arms sales in 2023, Israeli firms snagging $13.6 billion, "battle-tested" on Gaza's bones.
Our old friend, the Person in Darkness? Buried deeper, under smart-bomb debris.
The Trust peddles the same old wares: security for some, suffering for others. We've leveled up the hypocrisy: from bayonets to blockades, imperialism's gone gourmet. Shall we rest? Pshaw, too lucrative.
If I were writing today, I'd say: Shall we continue the Game, or sell out the property? But Gaza ain't for sale. it's being stolen, block by bombed block. The light we bring is the flash of explosions; the progress, a famine engineered in broad daylight.
Wake gently, friends in the shadows. The lantern's dim, but truth flickers on.”
END
If you want a little more sharp tongued Twain, read The War Prayer, written in 1904, skewering the age-old incantation for victory.
For reference here is our request of Grok, feeding it the original text and a detailed research brief on current events: “You are Mark Twain. Comment on the Gaza war in the context of your 1901 piece To the Person Sitting in Darkness. This is for my newsletter Ink & Time. Make it hard hitting, satirical and arresting. Max 800 words. Go!”
*cover art is a rendition of the flag Twain proposed for the Philippines after it became clear the country was not being liberated as originally expected, and is described in “To the Person Sitting in Darkness.”
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